I completely failed at doing what I was trying to set out to do. It's amazing how being late and then suddenly getting nervous can affect my performance. Never again, that was really embarrassing. Mainly because I knew I did a terrible job teaching the class because my nerves got the best of me.
However, getting the jitters out from actually teaching a Boogiezone class for the first time and realizing how humbling of an experience it was, I'm thankful it happened the way it did. Obviously I would have to take the steps to remedy what was already done but it can't really get any worse than that because I wont let it happen again.
It just sucks that I was good for the whole day, I had my routine done and it felt different when I was choreographing it, and when I even re-taught it to myself to get the counts right.
Then when came time to actually get there everything went against my favor and I completely blanked. It was all in my head and it was all my fault. But now I know what happens when I'm not able to shake something off, and I just have to wait and see what the reception will be for my class when people find it if it ever gets posted up on YouTube.
I feel like I want to apologize to someone, anyone, but that won't do anything. It's definitely a shaky way to introduce myself but it's made me so much of a better person. I learned so much from that experience that I would never want to happen again. It brought me down hard to ground level so I'm still starting at zero at this point.
Maybe a second chance will come along soon but only if I chase it.
Tryna live a dream because that's all I want for the future, nothing less of that. No need for expectations because that's in the past now.
I'm just living in the present moment because life is too beautiful not to notice how perfect things really are. I can easily say I messed up but now at least I've started to do something and had made a first step in the right direction.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
It's A Beautiful Day Outside!
I woke up for the first time in a long time around 630AM. Early, and it's clear outside! No clouds for once and it's beautiful to see the Sun on the rise.
Later tonight I'm also teaching Boogiezone Community Class for the first time!
Seems there may be many firsts today. Each day is a new awakening and my awareness is constantly growing in presence as I live to pursue my dreams to hopefully inspire other people to do whatever it is they have a passion for. The heart and soul are what matters, the material things are secondary. Money is secondary. Money will come, but faith in oneself is what's needed for that to happen. I can struggle and still be happy, because as cliche as it may seem, true wealth comes from within.
Suddenly it's not so hard to realize that which I'm set out to do. I want the people in my world to be happy. Forget all the past struggles because they're not happening at the moment NOW. Plan for the future but forget about it till it comes because it's not in the moment, NOW.
Why am I saying that?
I recently read the book The Power of Now and it resonated at a high frequency with me. It all made sense. I've been reading a lot of books in my search for spiritual enlightenment. I can't look at the world the same anymore. I daresay a lot of religions became so radical and obscured to the point now that the true messages got convoluted!
Live well, be good, and stay free. That's all that matters. Thoughts are tools to help us. But so many people have given in to be consumed by those thoughts that the true essence of life is lost. Life is more than this physical dimension. And even then this is all that currently IS at the moment.
So why worry? Why stress? Why bother to think negatively if it only makes life worse? Why would anyone want to kill their own souls by living life in disharmony from the self? People are trippin and it doesn't make sense. I've gone from a stage of extreme low to this natural high.
Good is good, and bad can only make me a better person so either way it's still good.
Today's a great day. Every moment I have with other people I cherish. Every moment I have to myself I cherish. There's a lot of love to go around, at least in my world. Either way I'm having fun with life.
Are you? =]
Later tonight I'm also teaching Boogiezone Community Class for the first time!
Seems there may be many firsts today. Each day is a new awakening and my awareness is constantly growing in presence as I live to pursue my dreams to hopefully inspire other people to do whatever it is they have a passion for. The heart and soul are what matters, the material things are secondary. Money is secondary. Money will come, but faith in oneself is what's needed for that to happen. I can struggle and still be happy, because as cliche as it may seem, true wealth comes from within.
Suddenly it's not so hard to realize that which I'm set out to do. I want the people in my world to be happy. Forget all the past struggles because they're not happening at the moment NOW. Plan for the future but forget about it till it comes because it's not in the moment, NOW.
Why am I saying that?
I recently read the book The Power of Now and it resonated at a high frequency with me. It all made sense. I've been reading a lot of books in my search for spiritual enlightenment. I can't look at the world the same anymore. I daresay a lot of religions became so radical and obscured to the point now that the true messages got convoluted!
Live well, be good, and stay free. That's all that matters. Thoughts are tools to help us. But so many people have given in to be consumed by those thoughts that the true essence of life is lost. Life is more than this physical dimension. And even then this is all that currently IS at the moment.
So why worry? Why stress? Why bother to think negatively if it only makes life worse? Why would anyone want to kill their own souls by living life in disharmony from the self? People are trippin and it doesn't make sense. I've gone from a stage of extreme low to this natural high.
Good is good, and bad can only make me a better person so either way it's still good.
Today's a great day. Every moment I have with other people I cherish. Every moment I have to myself I cherish. There's a lot of love to go around, at least in my world. Either way I'm having fun with life.
Are you? =]
Friday, June 12, 2009
My Current Level Of Awareness
Life is great! My back is hurting a little bit but it's getting better. Been going to the chiropractor this past week I'm scheduled for it again this coming Monday. Everyone's been telling me to lay off my back. And I have, but it's made me more receptive to figuring out what else I can do with my body in terms of dancing. I'm still dancing regardless of whether my back is out of commission or not. For the moment, it is, hopefully by Sunday it will be decently healed.
Last Saturday was ABDC Auditions, and I'm hoping, praying, wishing, and wanting so badly to get on the show right now with Tha Acadamee. Either way it's not the end by any means regardless of the outcome, but the experience would be so fulfilling and it would open up a lot of doors for the crew. Just sending it out there, please root for us!
And now to the actual point of this update. Life is getting easier, and "coincidental" ocurrences are more common in my life. I'm surrounded by the most amazing individuals each in their own respect. It's a lot easier to trust myself with what I'm doing now. The hardest part is that I don't know what exactly I want to accomplish, down to one thing. I want so many things in life. I'd like to experience everything as an addative to my adventure. I'd like to be a powerful creative individual in several forms at once. People may say it's impossible to master so many things at once but I feel the opposite should be possible.
Why do we place limiting beliefs upon ourselves?
If the mind is so powerful, why has society told us otherwise?
There's such a lack of trust, that trusting oneself becomes something to be relearned. As children we are powerful beyond imagination. As we grow, we are sometimes taught that we're not good enough to reach our dreams by our own peers. And then we meet people who tell us otherwise, then they become our true friends.
Finding myself and reaching enlightenment is a difficult path. Finding my life's purpose is also a difficult thing to attain. It's all internal and there are so many possibilities. What must one do to reach the full potential? Taking the first step may be hard but what am I stepping towards?
I aim to inspire regardless of what I do in this life. At the end of the day everything will be okay, because life gets better with each present moment.
Last Saturday was ABDC Auditions, and I'm hoping, praying, wishing, and wanting so badly to get on the show right now with Tha Acadamee. Either way it's not the end by any means regardless of the outcome, but the experience would be so fulfilling and it would open up a lot of doors for the crew. Just sending it out there, please root for us!
And now to the actual point of this update. Life is getting easier, and "coincidental" ocurrences are more common in my life. I'm surrounded by the most amazing individuals each in their own respect. It's a lot easier to trust myself with what I'm doing now. The hardest part is that I don't know what exactly I want to accomplish, down to one thing. I want so many things in life. I'd like to experience everything as an addative to my adventure. I'd like to be a powerful creative individual in several forms at once. People may say it's impossible to master so many things at once but I feel the opposite should be possible.
Why do we place limiting beliefs upon ourselves?
If the mind is so powerful, why has society told us otherwise?
There's such a lack of trust, that trusting oneself becomes something to be relearned. As children we are powerful beyond imagination. As we grow, we are sometimes taught that we're not good enough to reach our dreams by our own peers. And then we meet people who tell us otherwise, then they become our true friends.
Finding myself and reaching enlightenment is a difficult path. Finding my life's purpose is also a difficult thing to attain. It's all internal and there are so many possibilities. What must one do to reach the full potential? Taking the first step may be hard but what am I stepping towards?
I aim to inspire regardless of what I do in this life. At the end of the day everything will be okay, because life gets better with each present moment.
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